What You Need To Know About Clinically Depressed People

My love loses direction,

It often ponders and startles itself,

It often wonders what it is all about.

My love is lonely,

Seeking refuge in the corners of rooms,

And pillows long stained with wetness.

My love is conditional,

And then it goes ahead and forgives,

Lets go, holds hands,

And takes back the head on her bosom.

My love is silent and mournful,

Melancholy and slightly happy in repose.

My love is abstract,

Not knowing what to make of the world,

Or the colours within;

My love is blue.

My love is within, without,

And slowly flowing down the ravine,

While the vulture pecks lethargically at its prey

Wondering if it was worth it.

My love is lustful;

Craving flesh and mouths,

And bodies writhing on sheets.

My love is crowded

With emotions, handshakes, hugs and cuddles,

With tears and the little water boiling for tea.

My love is luxurious,

Ever forgetful with expenses,

There’s more debit than needs to be…

When everything is over,

My love is here.

Right where it was all along.  

She smells like sex,

Like freshly aroused senses.

She feels like pins and needles

And goose bumps on your neck.

Her eyes smoulder when she’s irate,

And she might use violence to resolve issues.

She’s lazy; all scatters and piles.

She will ignore you for a book,

Disown you for a comment.

She loves ferociously,

And hates passionately.

She is incorrigible, even obnoxious at times.

She’s far from perfect;

Stumbles and falls more than she stands,

She hates her nose and bullies her hair,

She laughs like a racoon and farts like a dog.

She smokes. Out drinks the alcoholics.

She fights. She believes. She goes on.

She looks you in the eyes,

And you don’t block her way. 

Another Women's Day And I Am Still Weary

Another women’s day round the corner. The internet is abuzz with brands campaigning, showing their love and devotion to the welfare of women. The blog sites are full of content that might or might not be useful for women or feminism. I mean I don’t know whether men really want to know how female gestures are better than her saying I love you. It’s all relative, but not quite I guess.

As always, the hashtag activism team is spread out over twitter, talking about #IndiasDaughter and the #BeefBan; both hashtags trending in the top five on twitter. While the beef ban discomforts me, making sure to let me know that more bans on personal choice is yet to come, the ban on the documentary by BBC boils my blood. The hypocrisy is astounding! The documentary supposedly maligns the Indian culture. Hence, our good government officials have banned it. The stupidity lies in the fact that if you ban it in India, it still goes out to the public everywhere else. Notice the irony.

A documentary by definition, records the truth. Nothing is falsified, nothing is imaginary. India has a growing rape culture and it is high time, the government accepts that instead of rallying against documentaries and justifying rape. 94 women are raped in India every day. More than 50% of the children in India are sexually abused. Our country is ranked 114 among the 137 countries in the Global Gender Gap Report. Wake up India, and smell the rape culture. It’s here. You cannot ignore it by closing your eyes.

The last time I was in Gokarna, I met this British woman who said “India is the rapiest country I’ve been to. I have never had more men trying to rape me and groping me out of nowhere.” I had no response because I knew she was right. This is what tourists are taking back from our country. Our men grope, lech and take pictures of women in bikinis without their consent. They treat women like objects and playthings. Banning a documentary isn’t going to change that.

And why the ban? What the rapist said about the victim in the Nirbhaya rape case is what half the country thinks. Does it offend you to see the truth on camera? Does it offend you to introspect? I have first-hand experience of what people think ‘gets women raped’. Educated people, people with PHDs and people with wealth and culture think women should not go out at night, that they should wear modest clothes, that they should not visit pubs and clubs. And a documentary offends you? Your hypocrisy offends me.

Also, no one seems to be talking about the title of the documentary, ‘India’s Daughters’. Women are citizens, individuals, not daughters or mothers or sisters. We need to stop defining a woman in possessive terms. The paradox being that even a documentary that defines a rape culture, uses a name that further negates our fight for equality.

None of the discourses on the internet that trend, help feminism. Most of the rape cases in cities and lesser urban areas don’t even find coverage in the national dailies. Indians are an accommodating race. We are accommodating a culture of rape, of male dominion, of fear without doing anything substantial about it. Oh wait, we are doing something. We are blaming the victims, we are posing philosophical questions and we are suggesting yoga as a counter measure for rape.

I am weary of all the inconsistencies and the sexism and misogyny hiding in plain sight in the virtual and real world, and I am just 25. What keeps me going are the wonderful women who are trying to fight it all. I am grateful for all the feminist authors, comedians, entrepreneurs, singers and everyday women who are fighting patriarchy one day at a time. This women’s day is for you. My fight gets stronger because of you. Thank you.  

My Nation Failed Me

I do not know how to be an Indian anymore. What do I stand for? What does India stand for? Are we the sheep being herded across policies and morals? Are we pigs being fed to be slaughtered? Are we the lions, caged and whipped? No. How could we be?

In the past week alone, I have read numerous news articles that have disheartened, angered and disappointed me. From mentally disabled women getting raped and abused to a society of the offended, from scams to hanging prisoners in silence to creating a Hindu Rashtra. Should I go on?

I write this piece with a sinking feeling in my stomach. I am going through a string of negative emotions not only as woman in India but as an Indian. When do we take our space back? When do we stand up for the so called democracy we call home? We are heading towards a path where freedom of speech, freedom to walk the road, freedom to claim freedom is at risk. But what do I know? I am just a voice in the disgruntled offended republic.

No matter how much we try, the discourse of rape in India is still the same. How long will we keep placing the blame on the women? I as an individual should have the right to wear anything I want without getting raped. I should be able to walk the streets without being x-rayed with visions. I should be able to do what I want, I should be able to live and not ‘allowed’ to. I should not be ‘allowed’ to do anything. It’s my right!

People need to understand the dynamics behind rape. It’s not just about sex. You can buy sex, no matter how illegal it is. Rape is about power and exertion of that power over women. Rape is about the fact that the same guy who is taught that women are shit, has to work under her in a more evolved city. It’s about teaching her who’s the boss. It’s ‘I have a penis and let me show you where it goes’.  But what do I know? I am a just a woman.

 The newest conflict in India is about religion. I am okay with everyone having their own faith, then again, why would you care what I am okay with? Exactly. Have your religion. Stop shoving it down people’s throats. Stop telling people which religion to follow. Why the hell do you care so much? Why the intense desire to get dominion over other races. It’s the exact thing you are afraid the other religion is trying to do. Irony is weeping in a corner while you fight your battles. Then again, what do I know? I am an atheist.

When will we learn to take a joke? When will we stop telling people what they can and cannot do. I am sorry governments, that’s not what we are spending our tax money on. The nation is full of people who need your attention and you are fixing all your attention on a freakin’ roast? Why does it offend you? The hypocrite in you shouts at the display of vulgarity while you shag off to Sunny Leone? And yes, women, you too are party to this I-am-offended charade too. Why is your sensibility hurt when I know what whatsapp messages you laugh at? Answer me this, if you do not find it funny, does it mean no one does? Or do you not think other people’s opinions matter? Again, Irony weeps and weeps. And again, what do I know? I like anti-jokes too.

I absolutely do not know how to be a woman in India. I do not know how to be an India. I do not know how to be a human. Teach me otherwise India. You are answerable to the people who fought to free you. Don’t let your own subjugate you, when you did not let the foreigners do it.

Wake the fuck up India!

No India, it does not end with comedy. The fight will go on, and so will the resistance. Today, they are against abusive language and lodging FIRs while the MP who called all other religious people HaramZadas is well on her way to enlighten people more. They are okay with MPs watching porn at Loksabha but are against consenting adults abuse each other in front of again ‘consenting’ adults. The key word is ‘consent’ and ‘choice’. Who gives you the right to take away someone else’s? why this narcissism? Why the superiority complex? And finally, how far will you go to curb creativity in this country.

It does not end with comedy. It will filter through to music, writing, graffiti, art and all other creative mediums. Creative people have always had a way to rebel against cultural norms and dogmas. Are we becoming so insecure in our skins as to confront every bit of rebellion?

India is the land where millions fought to overthrow the British rule? We don’t like being told what to do, whom to marry, what to wear and how to live. Are we okay to be told how to create? Are we as a nation okay with censorship? As a nation, we have 99 problems and comedy doesn’t make the cut.

A nation where rape is a culture, violence is on the rise, religious extremists are vandalizing churches, love jihad has a Wikipedia page and where women are still trying to keep up with all the sexism, you care about what a bunch of comedians are doing to push the envelope of comedy in India?

Dark ages, here we come. India is buying a one way ticket back to medieval ages. I refuse to have to filter my thoughts before the ink is etched on paper. I refuse to give up my right to create. I refuse to stand by and watch while my fellow Indians are harassed for no good reason. And those of you who think you are secure, think twice. It can and will be you next.

Wake the fuck up India!

Public Places Where People Have Sex in Kolkata

Kolkata is beautiful and all and we are all very fast and loose with our compliments and sarcasm, but there are some aspects of Kolkata (like many other cities) which we absolutely don't talk about. Let's talk about the fact that couples deranged with lust resort to make love (lets go with that) in public places. Parks, Shikaras, and behind bushes...they have been everywhere. If you see an umbrella and sometimes two held up like a tent at a park, don't peak, unless you are perverted like that. 

So, here's the list of public places where couples have sex or vigorously make out. 

Central Park

 If you happen to ride the giant wheel at Bidhan Nagar Mela near Central Park, you might catch bird's eye view porn when you look down. People under umbrellas, bushes and some even go to the lengths of putting up mosquito nets. Central Park is that place where your parents would never take you to play, and would never talk to you again if they knew you went to 'play'. They would never say why, but you know they know.

Elliot Park 

Aah the beauty of nature. Elliot park is a truly beautiful place. Thick trees, bushes, plants and flowers and the occasional liplocks. These are the sights you wanna look forward to there. But again, please don't peak.

Nalban 

Now this is the place where numerous  sex tapes have been made. It has a trifecta of mating spaces. You can use the shelter of bushes, use the inside of a boat, or rent a room and have at it. 

Cabins of hotels Yes. While you are having a polite conversation in the open area, someone might just be bumping uglies in the cabin next to you. Some cabins don't even have doors, just a curtain!

Mangal Pandey Park

 According to sources, this park in Barrackpore sees a lot of action too. 

Old Cinema Halls

 Yum! Popcorn and a blow job! That's what you might get to see, if you go to the old, decrepit cinema halls where Mon Mane Na and Meri Biwi Khooni Hai (I totally made that up) play at random. (Suggestion of other movie names: Tappakti Jawani, Main meri Katil hoon, Miss Call se bachha ho gaya, Pati fauj mein Biwi mauj mein.)

Cyber Cafes

 Yes. The sanctity of the internet is no more. They are having sex in the cabins! Oh the blasphemy!