The cigarette drooped between her loosely held fingers. The ash did a free fall on the wrinkled bed sheet. Her eyes were tightly shut while her body convulsed with suppressed sobs. She hardly heard the song that was screaming for attention and adamantly played on in her ears. She was lost, lost in a determination to overcome the all consuming nothingness.
Happy thoughts. Yes. Think of happy thoughts. Chocolate cake. Truffles. The aroma of a freshly baked cake. The way a good pen feels in your hand. Smell of books. Reading books. Friends. Smiles. Long chats. Clouds. The moon in all its glory. Darkness. The feeling of someone beside you when alone in your mind. Someone...
No. Not someone. Not anyone. Wrong turn sweetheart. Nothing but nothingness ahead. Make a u-turn. Now now NOW!
She lifted her head and jerked her eyes open. A Tear drop slid down her cheeks on the sly. She noticed that the cigarette had breathed its last and was about to kiss her fingers a hot, burning warning. She put it out.
Her throat was dry. She got up and walked a few paces in the dark hoping to stumble across the cursed water bottle so that she could give up switching on the lights. She stumbled. God Dammit! Who keeps all this junk lying around? Oh, it's the bottle.
Her thirst quenched, she started thinking about everything and nothing at the same time.Her head spun. Lie down moron. You need rest. But she failed to recall why she was this tired. She had done nothing out of the ordinary. In fact, she had not even done the ordinary in a few days.
She lit another cigarette. Resting her back against the wall, she looked at the shadows that played on the opposite wall. she hated it how it was never completely dark anymore. There was always some light or the other creeping in through the window or under the door.Always! She flickd ash in the ashtray by her side and hummed a song. Then she started singing out loud.
Now she was sleepy. she put out the cigarette, moved the ashtray to a far corner of the bed and placed her pillow at one side of the bed. She fumbled around for her ipod and found that the earphones had entangled themselves quite happily with each other. Not bothering to untangle it wholly, she put them in her ears and hit the play button.
And Iiiiii will allways love youuuu...
She closed her eyes, smiling at the irony of it all.
